“No, I can’t promise that I’ll be a devout tumblr-er…”- My, “about me” section.  Ok.  Let’s re-articulate that comment.  I’ll reblog pics at random but the writing will slow down at least until this year gets less busy.  I have so much pressure as far as mapping out my future right now yet can’t seem to balance my wants and needs.  The fact that I’m writing this is a perfect example- Want: to be on tumblr and/or write..Need: to get homework done before my SAT class tomorrow.  I guess the reason I decided to write tonight is due to my confusion with people in general, including me.  I’m outgoing and share my life with more people than I can count with my own fingers.  I listen to others patiently, trying to understand life from their perspective and sometimes give them advice even if I can’t take it for myself.  So that’s why I don’t understand why someone would take me for granted.  When I say to someone that I like them, trust them, adore them, love them..I’m not putting on a fucking show; I don’t understand why others wouldn’t do the same.  Honesty is such an important part of life and the fact that one couldn’t be honest with others or plays little games with their emotions only reflects the fact that they couldn’t be honest with themselves.  Like mismatching puzzle pieces, we are willing to remake ourselves into something that we are not..just to fit in.  I don’t understand why a guy would tell a girl that she’s beautiful just by means of hooking up with her.  If he thought she was beautiful then he wouldn’t disrespect her by chasing body over mind.  I don’t understand why girls say that they “love” one another and then turn around and demote the shit out each other as if they were never on talking terms.  If friends love one another, they should have each other’s back and guide the other in the right direction when he/she is too blind to see.  I don’t understand why people hide themselves from the ones that they truly care about as if the other would think less of them if they were sincere.  If you care about someone, don’t wait until it’s too late to tell him or her.  I mean I’m not that conservative or old-fashioned; this is basic stuff.  It makes me wonder if I would get farther by lying to those whom I care about or being manipulative to get what I want.  I’ve thought about all of this a lot recently and I could be wrong..but I think that everyone feels lonely or unsure of themselves to some extent and would do anything to make that feeling disappear. We say things that we don’t have faith in by way of pleasing each other.. or tell others that we love them, that they’re beautiful, that we trust them, only because the words are convenient.  If people could simply view the world with fresh eyes, maybe they would see that on the other side of that puzzle, there’s an open spot in which they would fit perfectly. 

“The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved In return”

                                                            {Alli}